Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We had sex on a dog bed..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I supernannyed him into submission
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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