I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
PANTIES FOUND
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
