Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There are leaves in my underwear?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
