Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize