$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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