I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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