yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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