If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize