it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
