No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
