girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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