honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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