your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
