this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When are your genitals available?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
