If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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