I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
