You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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