yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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