oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
