can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
