Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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