I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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