remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
