So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
