I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you had me at cake vodka
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
