My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
