I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I faked an abortion last night.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
