He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
