Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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