Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
