i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
