Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
