I hope mine doesn't look like that
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
