I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize