You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
