it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
