it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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