Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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