It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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