the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
