I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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