Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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