Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
