Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize