And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
