He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
