Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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