I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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