look no pants
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
