It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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