He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
