Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
