she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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