I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
