I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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