she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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