I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
