I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
