Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
