You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
COCAINE IS GR8
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
