I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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