Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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