you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize