Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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