I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize