So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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