White coat. Heels.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
