well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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