I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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