my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
