She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
