Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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