life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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