either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
