he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
