Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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